How were you raised to deal with life’s emotional difficulties? It’s probably not fair, but I always go back to what my mom used to say when we would come up to her with a scraped knee or other childhood injury. She would say, “Of course it hurts, that means you’re alive.” Not much comfort to a five-year-old, but I did learn to not share such discomforts with her in the future. And it certainly didn’t do anything about the real physical pain of said scraped knees, so I guess I mostly bottled it all up, or at least I knew to keep my tears to myself. 

In my adolescent years I was fortunate in that I learned to channel my frustrations, fears and passions into my music. Outwardly the songs were about Jesus and how much the world needed him, but inwardly it was more about the disconnect between the message and my own sense of self-hatred. Needless to say, these were not happy songs and it took a divorce for me to learn how to value myself and that it was enough for me to work on the gifts I loved and especially the gift of listening to others. Oh yeah, it was also important to cherish my flawed humanity without giving up on trying to be better. 

A few relationship disasters later I relearned how to let things go with a good cry and a night at home alone singing sad songs. Somehow that made me feel better. Fuck ‘em, I don’t have time for someone else’s shit. 

How we deal with the inevitable f-ups is kind’a important. My former fundamentalist Christianity said for me not to trust my emotions but the depend on the word of God in my heart. But how was I going to tell the difference between my own emotions and this other voice, that tended to sound like an authority church figure or a different version of me? And the idea of avoiding negative feelings by “doing better,” right… have you seen the other passengers on this odyssey? Shits gonna happen, whether it’s self-administered or an accidental encounter. What do you do with that? 

How do you own it, without letting it define you? How do you let it wash over you without letting it knock you down or weigh you down? It is a question in the current zeitgeist. Silo, on Apple TV, has a plot line about a doctor learning how to medicate away bad memories and then using that technology to try to control whole populations.On Friday it will be 25 years since the 9/11 terrorist attack that sought to shake our belief in ourselves, and there are some horrific stories that come from that day and the days that followed. More recently, six years ago, we were visited by death and over a million Americans died… have we really dealt with any of that? 

Thank god for artists like Sara Bareilles, who is willing to share the difficulties from her journey… ‘cause I really need more sad music to listen to… Just kidding. I like to think that we’re all learning to celebrate our sadness together. I love this music and this woman and this movie. 😎 Enjoy. 

[Movie was viewed at Cinema 21 on 2026-09-02]

Bonus live performance video… 

Sources:

Tags: 2026 movies, music documentary, music therapy, Sara Bareilles, video Mondays

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